Wounds of the Father: A True Story of Child Abuse, Betrayal, and Redemption

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Wounds of the Father: A True Story of Child Abuse, Betrayal, and Redemption

Wounds of the Father: A True Story of Child Abuse, Betrayal, and Redemption

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Sometimes, you can also consider confronting your father to get closure. However, if your underlying issues are not as grave, re-train your mind to disengage from the behaviors and beliefs you might have adopted from your father wound. Then make a deliberate effort to be a better version of yourself and journal your achievements every week, no matter how small they are. With repetition, new behaviors become a part of our lifestyle eventually. The Parting Shot Do you see that your father is more than his specific behaviors of insensitivity toward you? Can you see someone who might be more unsure than strong inside, someone who never got the chance to heal those wounds? Recognizing a mother wound or father wound takes time because you’ve grown up with it as “the norm” in your childhood. But the biggest step toward healing is seeing that your mother or father’s behavior was wrong and that you didn’t like how it made you feel, says Parker. Sometimes it takes seeing other families’ dynamics to realize that your family situation wasn’t okay. Or perhaps you see other signs of a mother or father wound manifesting in your life: feeling like you’re never enough, struggling with intense self-doubt, wanting to be in full control at all times, or inviting chaos into your life. Was your father present in your life growing up? How would you describe your relationship with him? Was it the same as how he treated your mother? Fathers have a significant role in shaping your character, consciously or unconsciously. And while a mother wound affects your femininity, a father wound affects your masculinity. So what exactly is a father wound, what symptoms do you manifest, and how can you heal it? We will answer these and more in this article. What is a Father Wound? Growing up without a father, a mother, or any kind of role model figure in childhood due to a traumatic event is something that will follow a person throughout their life. This kind of childhood can leave internal and emotional scars that the person must do their best to endure.

The Greek word in Strong’s Concordance for “you were healed,” is iaomai, which means not only to cure and to heal, but also to make whole. The Greek word sozo which is where we get our word “saved,” carries the same implication. It means: heal, preserve, save, be made whole.

Rather than believing that your father hurt you because you were unlovable or not worthy, you begin to realize that what he did wasn’t about you, but rather a reflection of the person he is and the circumstances he has been through. Am I condemning myself as a total person on the basis of a single event or the opinion of a single person? The effects of the father wound are farther reaching than what many would suspect. It touches everything from marriage to addiction, from education to behavior, and new evidence even suggests it affects us genetically.

Once you accept that you’ve been operating according to faulty beliefs, you can take steps to change. Related Reading: Dysfunctional Family Roles Quiz 4. Seek therapy You could also have a father wound if your father didn’t protect you from your mother’s abuse — or vice versa. “One can have a mother and/or father wound [from the parent who did not protect you] from the parent who is causing the wounding,” says Parker. “So one can sustain a wound from both parents.” We all come into the world helpless, dependent and needing acceptance, to be treated as worthy, and to be blessed. The father wound is the absence of this love from your birth father. The wound can be caused by: Behind the scenes of broken marriages and fatherlessness lies a much grander scheme. Scripture tells us that our battle is not against flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12). The struggle we are facing is not pitting fathers against children. By the time a child grows up, it is quite likely that they are able to be aware of many more things. They recognize the effort their mother made to make up for the shortcomings of their father, and how, more than once, their mother excused the actions of their father with phrases like… “You know how your father is”, “Don’t do things like that, you already know your father doesn’t like that”, “You just don’t understand…”

Relationship to God the father

You may feel alone in your grief over your father. That might be true. There aren’t many support groups for father wounds. We moved to a new town a few years ago and my wife told her new friends I grew up in a fatherless home. They used to be ok with me. Now they know, they treat me like garbage. Even the pastor treats me like I am nothing and won’t even talk to me. All because they see the stats rather than seeing me. If you experienced childhood emotional neglect you may repeat the pattern as you don’t know any different. Perhaps you become a practical parent and struggle with emotionally engaging with your child(ren). You may find this post useful: Parenting when you have experienced childhood emotional neglect and/or trauma . Rejection: Feeling unloved or unwanted, leading to low self-esteem, self-doubt, or a constant need for validation. The first step to healing is to believe the new story Christ has written about your life. You are a child of God, with a Father who will never leave, nor forsake you.



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