This has got to be the most confusing book I've read lately. I mean, most advice is good, common sense advice: don't be vulgar, don't be passive aggressive, don't shy away in a corner, don't think you're a victim or play a victim, don't overdo with makeup, don't dress like you're going to a frat party, network with people, ask for help. All really good stuff. But there are others that I have trouble accepting: be a woman more like a man. And that's not really empowering. Although in the beginning the author does say that you don't need to be a man to succeed in the business world, most examples are "have you ever seen a man do/say ..." And to me that reads as: if you want to be successful, you have to put aside all your femininity, all your qualities that you're proud of and act like a man. As a creative personality, I have trouble accepting that if I want to expand my career in the corporate world, I need to act more like a bland, boring individual who's part of a boys club than use my creative side to showcase my skills and abilities. There is a little girl in most of us, who wants to be liked, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, when the needs of that little girl overshadow the rational, adult woman, we can get into trouble, because we risk putting other people’s comfort and needs before our own. Strong confident narration - It felt like getting a pep talk from a well respected, no-nonsense mentor. All in all, less is more. Get comfortable with the silence after delivering a short, direct and to-the-point message. 5. Being too modest, and apologizing more than you should.

I've added to issues above where topics discussed in this section relate. These action items are harder to put into practice than others, since these are about changing your worldview completely. Some women ask for permission more out of habit than actually having to ask for the green light for something. By asking for permission before acting, we are less likely to be accused of making a mistake, but we are also less likely to be perceived as confident risk-takers. This is the first book I read from the bibliography of Anne Kreamer's It's Always Personal: Navigating Emotion in the New Workplace, and I found it much more skills-based and practical. The author's main theme is, "Quit being a girl," by which she means to toot your own horn and stand up for yourself because high quality work alone won't get you noticed and promoted. The corporate world is prejudiced against girls and can't envision them beyond the secretarial pool. Women, in contrast, get ahead with the right efforts.How about we start appreciating the different skills women can bring compared to men, because it is a known fact that organisations that have a more equal balance of men and women perform better. Much of the book is also more fitted for the corporate world, of which not everybody works in, or wants to for that matter. Don’t misunderstand overcoming your “Nice Girl” phase and becoming more empowered, assertive, and confident, with being mean or nasty. I mean, have you ever had a man apologize for legitimately gaining an advantage? Neither. So, why do we? Even in Western countries, women are still not on an equal footing with men. There are many reasons for this inequality, most of which can’t be changed by one woman alone. Stop using touchy-feely language. Be assertive. "I think..." "I believe..." "I intend..." "I would like..." Be strong! Be direct! Language strongly conveys messages about us, so show that you're strong and decisive. This comes up again in "How You Respond." To counter being treated inappropriately, learn to tell people what you really think. "I would appreciate it if you did X."

What I need to do instead: make decisions without polling others for opinions and deliver direction without wavering. I need to let my confidence come across so that the people I am speaking with know I mean what I say and they'll stop questioning or undermining me. Because we've been so conditioned to be pleasing to others, accusing a woman of behaving in an unpleasing manner is like an automatic shut off button that manipulative people use against us. Accusations and implications of this manner have no basis in reality, it's just a means of shutting us up and keeping us out. All in all, work on breaking the habit of trying to bite off more than you can chew. 2. Trying to please everyone. Put yourself first. I tell my sister this all the time, but the only person looking out for you is YOU. Easier said than internalized. It is NOT selfish to have your needs met. Have a life outside of work, especially. I would absolutely listen to this again because its chalked full of tips and advice that apply to so many different situations a woman finds herself in at work.Manage expectations--don't get taken advantage of. Be willing to go the extra mile, but make sure to tell people when an expectation is unrealistic. On the contrary, “nice girls” are reluctant to advocate on their own behalf, and instead, they work hard hoping that someone will notice and give them the rewards they deserve. If that’s your case, sorry to break it out to you, but that’s not how it usually goes. Ask yourself how many of the following behaviours are an obstacle to achieving more balance in your life: This was by far my worst category. Women are not taught to defend ourselves or get angry when someone is disrespectful to us, teaching us to be tolerant of people who treat us like crap.

Frankel first has the reader take a 49 question quiz, which is able to determine which of the eight areas are both your strong and weak points. My strengths were in "how you think," "how you look," and "how you play the game." Honestly, parts of the "how you look" section of the book was a bit ridiculous and somewhat dated, even though this book is but 8 years old, (don't wear inappropriate makeup, dress appropriately, grooming in public, wrong hairstyle, etc.), but the DC Interns blog, cataloging all the mishaps of our annual guests, exists for a reason. All of these examples show up repeatedly in that blog, so clearly, this issue still exists. For me, the parts about "dressing the part" were the easiest--it was the more physical ways of holding yourself that I learned I needed to work on. And one of my worst categories. I hate selling myself (see my review of "Do What You Love"--it's classic ISTJ behavior, apparently), but I know that I need to become much better at it, especially during a job hunt.I'm so impressed with the book I intend on buying copies for female friends as graduation presents. I also loved that Frankel recommends a plethora of other resources and career coaching books throughout. She is a generous author who never fails to cite and recommend her influences, a rare skill in a world of self-promotional and narcissistic branding. Although there is a lot of empty fluff and even some outdated non-sense advice in that long list of “mistakes”, there are some other roles and attitudes which I believe many women can commonly associate themselves with. So below, I have decided to only cover the 6 behaviors that I found to be most relevant since I have identified them not just in my own behavior, but also had other female colleagues and friends identify with them as well. 1. Working too hard and doing the work of others. Stop using "upspeak"--making every statement sound like a question. I think I've gotten myself out of this this completely, but I know that I'm much more likely to couch opinions as questions, which I need to stop. Be assertive!

However, there seems to be a common tendency among women to feel that they are asking for too much, when in fact, they are not. Instead, male counterparts are generally much more comfortable asking for what they want and feel completely entitled to have their request fulfilled.Particularly within the start-up landscape, it is not unusual to hear the “we don’t worry about titles” trope. And yes, we might work on many different areas of responsibility and our scope of tasks might be broad as hell, but be a little too lax when it comes to your job title for long enough and you might end up finding yourself in a position where your title doesn’t match your scope of responsibility, along with the confusion that comes along with it. Geloof me vrij: die corner office ga je door dit boek niet verkrijgen. Het bevat 300+ pagina’s vol open deuren en daarnaast nog wat belachelijk corporate onzin zoals ‘pas je volledige uiterlijk aan aan wat je denkt dat je werkomgeving van je verwacht’ - basically. Ik vreesde van tevoren al dat dit een véél te Amerikaans 'corporate office'-verhaaltje zou worden en las dit daarom uitzonderlijk eens in het Nederlands, in de hoop dat de vertalers de moeite hadden gedaan om ook de context te vernederlandsen, but nope. Naar mijn bescheiden mening hebben zeer weinig werkende vrouwen überhaupt iets aan dit boek, maar al zéker niet als ze geen sales managers binnen een groot Amerikaans bedrijf zijn. Freelancers, arbeiders, creatieven, onderwijzers, verpleegsters, you name it: driekwart van dit boek is nutteloos voor jullie. Yet another zelfhulpboek dat met een hoop grote woorden beweert verbazingwekkende informatie te delen die je volledige zijn zal transformeren, maar uiteindelijk een empty shell vol voorspelbaarheid blijkt te zijn. Thank u, next.