I also think that young children have a natural desire to be connected to the family ecosystem and developing independence and the ability to participate can build connection rather than distance as the authors implied early in the book. Parents have full responsibility in the existence and the behaviour of their child, since they had choice in giving birth to the child, had full controll over the enviroment he borns into, also over the effects that influenced the child's mind - while the kid had not. A few pages later he even mention divorce as another thing predisposing children to turn to their peers; also as a fault of our culture. We are robbing our children (and ourselves) when we push them too quickly out into the world without giving them something to hold onto -- US!

It’s likely that you’ve been a victim of the peer culture if you’ve ever tried to mimic something you’ve seen someone else do.I don't find it kind to communicate with someone where fear is used to motivate and thus found much of the book to be disagreeable. Authors Neufeld and Maté describe the “flatlining of culture” or the disappearance of the past, and just a focus on the current or present trends, language, and ideas in our youth today. Many of our children are growing up bereft of the universal culture that produced timeless creations of humankind: The Bhagavad Gita; the writings of Rumi, Dante, Shakespeare and Cervantes and Faulkner, or of the best and most innovative of living authors; the music of Beethoven and Mahler; or even the great translations of the Bible. These kids never have the ability to actually grow up, to embrace their true selves, to mature into a unique, confident individual.

Secondly why l gave 3 stars even though l agree with everything because this was one of the most overwritten books ever.I'm pretty sure his own wife and mother must have worked out of the home because he just sort of brushed it off as not being practical in today's world and just told you how to deal with it since you would probably be out working.

They need to feel loved, cherished, and accepted despite their shortcomings or even their behaviors toward us. Seeing how it seemed to have an impact on her and respecting her as a seriously amazing mom, I decided to pick it up. Any peer-oriented child knows the deal: don't say or do anything that could reflect badly on others and risk pushing them away. Gabor Maté’s connections—between the intensely personal and the global, the spiritual and the medical, the psychological and the political—are bold, wise and deeply moral.Given the central importance of attachment in the child’s psyche, whomever the child is most attached to will have the greatest impact on her life” (p 25). I will honestly state that I did not agree with large portions of this book and had a hard time finishing it. What a powerful statement, and although I know it’s true, it’s very difficult for me to remember this when I’m rushing about our busy lives. This “peer orientation” undermines family cohesion, interferes with healthy development, and fosters a hostile and sexualized youth culture. The key, Maté says, is to reconnect with intuition and ignore the sort of books that portray parenting as expertise to be acquired.