52 Times Britain was a Bellend: The History You Didn't Get Taught At School
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52 Times Britain was a Bellend: The History You Didn't Get Taught At School
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Britain may have done some good things, but we also did some bad things - in the case of the Indian famine even while we were doing good thigs (helping to defeat Hitler) we were doing bad things (letting millions die). If we cannot critically examine our own pasts as nations and as people, then we deny ourselves the scope for growth and instead fall into the hubris of unthinking pride. It’s about time I learnt what my history classes at school failed to teach me. I read an article in the Guardian recently that pointed out that most British history syllabuses completely skip over Britain’s role in its colonies and the slave trade, putting the onus on glorifying British Abolitionists such as Wilberforce. As we studied only one short module on the Agrarian and Industrial Revolution and the Peninsular Wars, even Wilberforce was relegated to a single sentence, shared with Shaftesbury and child labour reforms. Obviously I have learnt more in the course of my lifetime, but only in the past few years has it occurred to me just how little I know, given I’m interested in history. We went to a small museum in the north of England which had a major display about the slave trade and trading triangle and I was amazed because I had never heard of that and never associated slavery with Great Britain. My viewpoint has been changing and I think this slim and irreverent volume may teach me a great deal about the reality.
I expected to already be familiar with most of the content, given the fact that I read up a lot on world history, in general, but I was pleasantly surprised to find a whole lot that was new to me. ‘Pleasantly’ might be the wrong word to use though, as the author lays out some pretty grim stuff. Having said that, the book is also very funny and the audiobook narrator delivers it with perfect timing and style. So, yes... this book is both grim (content) and funny (delivery of content) without the latter diminishing the former. I’m already a bit of a history nerd, so I didn’t need this book to magically make me fall in love with the subject. A collection of slightly random stories of horrible histories, light on depth and detail and unashamedly skirting over each subject, using too much profanity to remain amusing. TIMES BRITAIN WAS A BELLEND will complete your knowledge of this sceptred isle in ways you never expected. So if you’ve ever wondered how we put the ‘Great’ in ‘Great Britain’, wonder no more . . . Perfect combination of historical fact and wit - a really great insight into history that isn't typically explored in the classroom.This is only a short list of "highlights" shall we say. The delusion of "British Greatness" that we tell ourselves is the cause of our own current crises and won't be fixed until as a society and a culture, we stop lying to ourselves. We've been lying for a long time though. We have gone round the world like a spoiled brat, taking and smashing other people's things in petulant ridiculous rages. It presents history concisely and humorously. History is often seen as dry and presented in these tomes wider than your hand. Each of the 52 items are presented in a few paragraphs. The tone is lighthearted and it’s entertaining. Perhaps it detracts from the seriousness of the issues ever so slightly, but I heartily enjoyed it nonetheless. Lots of interesting and no doubt accurate gobbets of history. But it's a depressing, wearing listen and don't buy it expecting comedy. For anyone with a good knowledge of history, you won't learn anything new in here. For those who would like a deeper and more nuanced look at these events, you'll also be disappointed.
James Felton is a national treasure. Although having read this book, I'm not sure that's a good thing -- Fred Delicious Andy Thistlewood, head of development for Open Mike, says: " James Felton's book is laugh-out-loud funny, so naturally we wanted to exploit his genius! James expertly weaves fascinating historical nuggets of Britain's bellendery with some obscenely funny jokes, so we're confident that his book will transfer perfectly to TV. Just when we thought we couldn't be more concerned about Britain's global reputation, James comes along to show us that we need not worry - Britain has always been a bit of a bellend." TIMES BRITAIN WAS A BELLEND will complete your knowledge of this sceptred isle in ways you never expected. So if you've ever wondered how we put the 'Great' in 'Great Britain', wonder no more . . . Nuance is a definite casualty within this book. These events can't exactly be excused, but giving the rationale behind the actions would be helpful, as Felton's prose makes it look as if Britain was being capricious at best, or malevolent for the sake of it, at worst. If he had actually gone into things in any depth then it would be easier to learn from his work.A great combination of lively writing and painfully accurate history easily digested in an evening. Jingoistic notions of British exceptionalism and misguided notions of a benign British Empire have been fostered by populist demagogues like Johnson. As such, it is clearly not worth much to have merely theoretical sovereignty in the sense of unenforceable rights, such as the UK has acquired for itself by Brexit. What obviously counts, rather, is the actual ability of a state to influence the world around it such that its interests are safeguarded, and if this is more effectively achieved by membership in a supranational union, then the purpose of sovereignty is clearly attained, even though the formal description of such a state would, to the clueless observer, suggest that its freedom is reduced. While told in quite an amusing manner, the litany of actions, ranging from full on atrocaities to blatent stupidity, most of which spurred by a selfish, petty, greedy, entitled behaviour is sobering.
The narrator is a serious let down, though. More so than the material, he comes across as patronising and annoying. Several interesting anecdotes, although each is treated only very superficially. This is not a history book, and I worry the research may not have extended much beyond Wikipedia.It's an entertaining read and no doubt has opened my eyes to some moments in history the United Kingdom would like to forget. However, if you’re not in the same boat as me (or indeed, even if you are) please see the following reasons for why I think this book is a must read; The stories use facts without context. Just like a journalist using a single sentence sound bite over an article. There was a bit of unnecessary swearing but it was very informative (or at least will give you something to further research).
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