MOSLEY: Your mom could not read, but she taught you. She taught you to read other languages like body language and facial expressions. And she was delighted to see the faces of white people at your book tour events, watching you read poetry. What was it that she was delighting in? Remember as much of the good times as you can and know your family and friends are here to support you today This very sad story about how Cathy looses her brother is heartbreaking. Not only did she loose him when she was 17 in a car accident, she looses him again 8 years later when she and her family decides to let him die.

Poet Ocean Vuong sifts through the aftershock of grief in

I recently joined a virtual meeting hosted by Cardiff Neurology Book Club. The book discussed was The Last Act of Love, a memoir written by Cathy Rentzenbrink [1]. It tells the story of her younger brother Matty, who sustained a traumatic brain injury following a road traffic collision and was left in a persistent vegetative state.

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We don't need to be unbroken. Our first step is simply to stop trying to hide our scars. Heartache is human.” And I realized that I was writing with various insecurities or fears, you know, even with all of my books. Every writer would tell you that they're writing what they want. But I think, you know, only when their mother passes away do they realize, oh, wait a minute. There's another level of freedom that I don't know. And the fork in the road for me was either I stopped doing it altogether or I start doing whatever I wanted. And I didn't know that I was writing for beyond myself or elsewhere until she passed and I started to see pleasure again. If you are struggling with grief, it is important to take extra care of yourself. Healing takes time, it takes patience. There is no timeline for grief. Grief is not one emotion, it is an experience - a process. Do not compare your grief to those around you; each person’s experience is different. It may be a very private affair, a lonely journey. However, do remind yourself you are not alone. year to this day heaven gained a new angel and I lost my soulmate. You shall never be forgotten my love

Excerpt: Cathy Rentzenbrink - The Last Act of Love Excerpt: Cathy Rentzenbrink - The Last Act of Love

For veterinarians, humane euthanasia is a way of ending pointless suffering in animals when all else has failed. It is often a difficult therapeutic option in the best interest of the animal and the family. In fact, we are obligated to consider euthanasia as an option to relieve suffering. It seems there is always another thing that can be done in an effort to forestall pain and death, but to what end? Sometimes it seems rather than extending life we wind up prolonging the death process. The book is a brutally honest account of living with a family member in a persistent vegetative state and the effects on those that care for them and quite frankly it details experiences that you'll wish you never have to go through. From everyday practicalities of feeding and washing to more medical procedures. She tries out a variety of answers to the inevitable “do you have a sibling?” question. If she tells the truth, no one will know how to cope with her. She lists the pros and cons of each answer. Language is part of the minefield. Later on, an annoying man tells her to “cheer up because it might never happen”. These are just a few ideas to help you find the right way to commemorate the anniversary of a death. Whatever brings you comfort and feels right on the day is how you should approach it though. Tips on Coping with Grief

Grief is exhausting. It takes a lot of energy to feel so intensely so often. Allow yourself plenty of time to do everyday tasks and don't over-schedule yourself. Take your rest when you need to and offer yourself some kindness, allowing yourself grace. We often see the refugee as a victim or a passive condition, you know, who is pleading for universal help and aid. But in fact, the refugee is an incredibly creative artist. I would even go as far as to say that my elders and many elders around the world who survive geopolitical violence are survival artists. VUONG: When I lost my mother, I thought, there's no point. Everything I have done, I'd done for her. I went to school for her. She gave me no pressure. You know, and it's important for me to say this because, you know, there's a stereotype of the Asian tiger mom. My mother was never such a mother. She said, whatever you want to do, as long as you're happy, you can do it. And worse comes to worst, she points to the desk. She works in a nail salon. She points to the desk beside her. There's always an empty desk in the salon. She says, you can sit down right here, and then we'll work together. So I had ultimate freedom to explore. And I think for me, you know, that freedom really was all to serve her. It was, how do I help my mother get out of the projects? Every immigrant has that dream.