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The Gap and The Gain: The High Achievers' Guide to Happiness, Confidence, and Success

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Most entrepreneurs are mentally "here" but want to be "there". Embrace being HERE. Yes, you have goals and vision but you're completely happy where you're at. However, to counter this limiting mindset, the authors introduce the concept of the Gain. They argue that instead of fixating on the perceived gap, individuals should focus on the growth they have already achieved and the progress they are continually making. The Gain mindset allows individuals to appreciate their accomplishments, no matter how small, and encourages them to build on their strengths and use them as stepping stones towards further success. Dr. Benjamin Hardy practices organizational psychology. More than 100 million people read his writings on Medium.com. He frequently appears in publications including the Harvard Business Review, New York Times, Forbes, and Fortune. Be Your Future Self Today, Who Not How, Willpower Doesn't Work, and other works were written by him. Dr. Hardy holds degrees from Brigham Young University and Clemson University. Being reminded of the easily forgotten past boosts your hope, motivation, confidence, and resilience. You’re not the exact same person you were in the past. You’ve evolved and grown a lot, even in the past 90 days. Now that you know exactly what Gap- and Gain- thinking are, you may be wondering about the impact they have on your life. Hardy and Sullivan state that both Gap- and Gain-thinking have cumulative effects, meaning these effects accumulate and amplify themselves over time. These effects manifest in your daily life.

Putting ourselves in the GAIN, we don’t “need” anything outside of ourselves. We’re driven internally by a healthy and chosen “want.” In Dr. Hardy’s words: You take what happens outside of you to transform and improve yourself.Be aware of “fairness violations” — people with low emotional intelligence are highly sensitive to where everything has to be “totally fair” or “weighted in their favor” or they’ll be upset or break down if they don’t get what they believe “should be theirs.”

An interesting self-help book that I was recommended to help with my management skills in particular, but also works very well with the way I try to view the world. Don't concentrate on trying to reach an ideal - you never will achieve an ideal, because you will always come up with a new ideal as soon as you're within grasp of that ideal, or it will be so far away that you are unlikely to achieve it. Work instead on looking at what you have achieved, take that as a positive, and move forward with that positive energy. It's amazing how far you can travel on the power of positive energy. Anyone who knows me knows that's how I try to live - baby steps forward, with positivity. That doesn't necessarily mean constant optimism, but turn things around to make the best of them. And this is how you achieve happiness in everything. You might need to make one simple shift in your thinking. That’s the core idea of The Gap and the Gain that was developed by entrepreneurial coach Dan Sullivan. In the book, organizational psychologist Benjamin Hardy connects Sullivan’s ideas to scientific concepts that help explain why we tend to focus on the future and how we can train ourselves to focus on the past instead. Hardy and Sullivan argue that making this change can drastically improve your quality of life. As he did in WHO NOT HOW, Dr. Benjamin Hardy shares one of Dan Sullivan's simple yet profound teachings that until now has been known only to his Strategic Coach clients: unsuccessful people focus on "The Gap," but successful people focus on "The Gain."Putting yourself in the gap is not how you reach the optimum level of performance. Having an unhealthy need or ‘obsession’ is not how you reach your highest level. Even if you see corporate philanthropy as just a ploy to gain clients or market share, it actually does do that when done right. (And when done right, it actually does good.) Conduct mental exercises by subtracting the positive aspects of your life and imagining their absence. This will help you appreciate them more and serve as a reminder of our accomplishments. You have to be self-determined. You’ve to define your own success, achieve it by your own rules and build a life that you’re proud to live. Dr. Hardy is one of my favorite life-changing authors. I’ve read all his books and when I got the opportunity to read this latest work of his prior to its release, I knew I’d be in for another wonderful journey to either precious discovery of ideas or affirmation that I am on the right path. The book is easy to read BUT read it carefully, because it also challenges you to work on yourself. Let the concept of the GAP and the GAIN sink into your being.

If you look for happiness outside yourself, you’re giving away all your power. Life becomes a treadmill of constantly hustling to get the things you believe you need. But you don’t need anything or anyone else to be happy. You can choose happiness, right now, by learning to appreciate your life just the way it is. Stop comparing yourself to others. The only thing that can make you feel happy and fulfilled is living up to your own, internal standard of success. Even religion, which is supposed to bring people hope and healing, can be a reason people go into the GAP,” the authors write. One of the most profound (but beautifully simple) books I’ve come across recently is The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy. Hardy says the GAP and the GAIN are significant tools because they have a language. Give those you love permission to call you out when you enter the GAP by explaining the GAP and the GAIN concept to them.Practice mental subtraction. See the possibility that you could lose the things you are complaining about.

Our “future growth and progress are based in our understanding about the difference between the two ways in which you can measure ourselves,” Dan believes. Shortform note: Psychologists measure the positive outcomes of trauma using a tool called the Posttraumatic Growth Inventory. With this scale, researchers found that people who experienced traumatic events reported more positive changes in their lives than those who didn’t experience anything out of the ordinary. This reinforces the argument that trauma can strengthen and improve you.) Gains Today, Gains Tomorrow The Gap And The Gain" is not just a self-help book; it is a transformative journey towards self-discovery and personal empowerment. It challenges readers to confront their limiting beliefs and break free from the vicious cycle of comparison and self-doubt. By embracing the power of gratitude, self-reflection, and continuous improvement, individuals can embark on a path of personal development and create a life filled with purpose, joy, and abundance.

The Gap and The Gain Summary

You’re in the GAP every time you measure yourself or your situation against an ideal. The Ideal is where you wish you were. Instead, measure against the actual progress you’ve made. However, some research indicates that the link between gratitude and happiness may not apply to everyone. For example, one study found that this link only existed in participants who had PTSD. Another study involved a group of middle-aged Mormon women. These women were recently divorced and used daily gratitude journaling to process their emotional pain. Results showed the treatment didn’t improve life satisfaction for any of the women. T]his one simple concept is a masterclass on positive psychology, healthy relationships, mental well-being, and high-performance. Everything that psychologists know about how to create a high-functioning and successful person can be achieved using The GAP and the GAIN."- Dr. Benjamin Hardy If you frame an experience as a gap, you lose power and ownership over that experience. On the other hand, gain puts you in the driver’s seat of your own life. You chose to decide what the experience means to you. You can take it this way: you’re either winning or learning. You make mental comparisons to your former self. Because your prior self determines the bar for development, you have entire say over its appearance. According to the self-determination theory of psychology, this degree of autonomy is important to experiencing intrinsic motivation and a sense of personal growth and development. By empowering you to determine your standards for success, Gain-thinking increases your chances of achieving those standards. Takeaways: Some nuggets of wisdom to analyze and internalize:

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