Kinky lesbians in the sauna

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I would write in my journal, the night before leaving: “There’s something so deliriously pleasurable in the idea of trusting myself enough to know exactly what I want.”

Lynette and I had only just met, but in the emotionally intense bizarro world of the cruise, where relationships of all types seemed to develop at warp speed and I was feeling enough emotion for 10 lesbians combined, I liked Lynette very, very much. A lot of it was, obviously, physical, chemical. But there were other things, too, that were harder to explain to other people or to myself.There was always speculation about the relationship between her mother and Smithy. On her death bed, her daughter finally asked her about it. “I said: ‘People always ask me, Mum, and I hate to ask you but were you and Smithy lovers?’ And she said: ‘Everybody always assumed that Smithy was madly in love with me and that I was playing her along. But no we weren’t, and the reason for that was that Smithy didn’t want it.’

It overwhelmed me, just then, the sudden force of my wanting. I wanted my own big, strong butch. Someone who wasn’t looking for someone to help them grow, because they’ve done most of their growing already. Yes, we took a shower together. We did not have sex. The thought of touching her never crossed my mind although we stood next to each other for thirty long minutes under a shower.Even if your sense of direction is as hopeless as mine, it is not hard, as I discovered, to find Kotiharjun, Helsinki’s oldest and only remaining public traditional wood-fired sauna. Google Maps said I could go to the Helsinki University Metro station and take the M1 towards Vuosaari; get off at the Sörnäinen station in the bohemian Kallio area; and then walk a few minutes to reach my destination. I’m always disoriented when I get out of any underground station and almost invariably start walking in the wrong direction. This time too I bumbled along, trying to find Harjutorinkatu, the street on which the sauna is located.