Shrek the Musical Jr. Actor's Script

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Shrek: Well, they're also great in stews. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean weed rat stew. Just as Shrek nears the door to his home, Donkey jumps in front of him. Shrek walks in another direction) The mirror shows a portrait of Princess Fiona leaning on the window of her tower. Once again everyone else claps) The mascot screams at the sight of Shrek and begins running through the roped path to get to the front gate) Donkey: Hey. hey don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. You're gonna tear it off. I don't give permission to-- hey! What are you gonna do with that?

Lord Farquaad: Ugh! I've tried to be fair to you creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! Tell me or I'll...(he grabs one of Gingy's gumdrop buttons) Lord Farquaad: Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, but you startled me--for I have never seen such a radiant beauty before. I am Lord Farquaad. The successful candidate will be required to work from our newly refurbished office in London at 12-14 Mortimer Street, W1T 3JJ.Donkey rips a flower off a nearby bush, which happens to be a blue flower with red thorns, and takes off running) Shrek : (sighs) Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He's the one who wants to marry you. Now holdest on, Sir Knight. Don t you want to savor this moment? It be-eth our first meeting. It must be a wonderful and romantic scene. Fiona: "By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm... until you find true love's first kiss... and then take love's true form."

The guests party and dance as Donkey takes over singing The Monkees song. Shrek and Fiona ride away in their carriage. Cut to a storybook that reads "And they lived ugly ever after...THE END". Donkey: Okay, so here's another question. Say there's a woman that digs you, right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? How do you do that? The Mirror reluctantly rewinds and begins to play again from the beginning, displaying the image of Fiona waiting in her tower) He opens the front door and throws Big Bad Wolf out. He sees that a horde of fairytale creatures have set up camp in his swamp) Donkey screams and takes off running, narrowly dodging the dragon's fiery breath. The dragon chases after Donkey, stomping on the pile of knight remains in her way. Shrek turns around to see Donkey barreling towards him with the dragon close behind him)Shrek shakes his head and takes off his helmet and reveals his ogre self. Fiona looks at him blankly, confused but not frightened. Shrek awkwardly grins) Fairy tale creatures are put in chains and led into wagons by Duloc Guards. The Captain of the Duloc Guards sits at a table paying a line of people their rewards for turning in the fairytale creatures. Those waiting in line include Peter Pan, who is carrying Tinkerbell in a cage, Geppetto who is carrying Pinocchio, and a farmer carrying the Three Little Pigs. But wait, Sir Knight! I have long awaited this day! And I would st first like to knowest the name of my champion.