Want to be Spanked?

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It’s hard to admit this. A few playful swats during sex seem fun, while serious spankings seem damaged and perverse. After years of pretending I was interested only in the occasional erotic swat, I finally had to admit it to myself: Although spankings do satisfy a strong sexual need, they satisfy an equally strong psychological one. Answer: HELL YES they hurt! I can understand how the term “consensual” might lead one to believe that I consent only up to the point where it really starts becoming painful, then I can opt out citing I no longer consent to the spanking/pain. But what I’ve consented to (and continue to consent to), are real consequences by way of real domestic discipline spankings from my wife. The fact that I take what is given, is consenting on my part because I’m never tied or restrained in any way. So I COULD stand up and stop it at any time and say, “I don’t want to take this anymore”. But the moment I do that, then it isn’t a real spanking, is it? Human sexual behavior and desire are way more diverse than most people give them credit for. One person's "Oh,gosh no," can be another person's "Oh, hell yes,"and that is completely fine. So, if those nerves and embarrassment you're feeling are in any way related to thinking that what you want is "bad," I want to say two things to you: This is about your recent response to UNCUT, the guy who met men who believed they were uncut when they were very much cut. You suggested that these men were lying about being uncircumcised. But not knowing might be more common than we assume. This is from Epidemiology , the authoritative textbook written by Leon Gordis of the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health: “They asked a group of men whether or not they had been circumcised. The men were then examined by a physician. Of the 56 men who stated they were circumcised, 19, or 33.9 percent, were found to be uncircumcised. Of the 136 men who stated they were not circumcised, 47, or 34.6 percent, were found to be circumcised. These data demonstrate that the findings from studies using interview data may not always be clear-cut.” —Some Truly Are Thrown

Spanking is one of those fetishes that has fans ranging from lovers who are vanilla all the way to extreme BDSM players. Most people enjoy a slap or two on the behind. Others like to receive a few spanks during intercourse doggy style. BDSM proponents, of course, take it further, sometimes involving whips and chains. For Spankos, it’s all about the pain in the derriere. There’s an aspect of relinquishing control in the last two groups, which adds to the pleasure. It’s all fine as long as it’s consensual, which may be written or verbal. If you're leaning towards yes, then the best way to satisfy your curiosity is to try it out (with your boyfriend's consent, of course, which we'll get to in a moment). Keep in mind that trying spanking once doesn't mean you're agreeing to be spanked every time you have sex. If you try it and you don't like it, you can stop. You might try it and find that you like it, but don't want a steady diet of it. Like any other sexual activity, trying spanking once doesn't mean that you have to, or will want to, experience it every time. Or, you might try it and find that it's something you want on a frequent basis. There are no rules here.Feeling embarrassed to the point where you just don't feel like you can talk to your boyfriend about this at all probably means spanking isn't quite something you're ready to explore in real life. That would be okay, too. It'll always be there for you later when you're feeling more comfortable talking about it. But if even talking about something feels daunting, that's usually a very solid clue we're probably not ready to do that something. I just returned from Blogher. This annual writing conference ,focusing on women's contribution to the web, took place in San Francisco. I had a blast. I adored the panels, networking and the free corporate swag, but the highlight of the trip was hanging out with the girls. Power play: People may find it sexually arousing to play with power roles, such as becoming dominant or submissive. Others may also find it freeing to release responsibility and power in a controlled environment. This type of relationship works with same sex couples. We are both females. I put my girlfriend over my knee when she gets out of line. My girlfriend is a big girl (5’11”) and I’m quite small (4’10”), but I insist on putting her over my knee as it adds to the humiliation. And, don’t let my petite size fool you. I give tough spankings that will change undesirable behaviors.

You could fill it out together, comparing answers as you go, or fill it out separately then compare your answers. Mary, what woman would not want to be spanked, its a girl thing. I will have to admit the best spanking was not from a male, but a female. Spring break visiting my room mates mother, told the rules, spanking was mentioned. Well we broke the cardinal rule of coming home late, and added to the fact we had a little too much to drink. Her mother look when we got home, we knew we were in trouble, told to go to bed. Late the next morning, we slept until about eleven, standing in the kitchen, jammies and we scolded. Thinking that was all, the look on our faces when told take the jammies off, her voice was stern, we did as told. I watched as she gave her daughter a sound spanking and knew I was next. Over this woman's lap I squirmed, pleaded, and finally danced around the room afterwards. We were told to get cleaned up and dressed we both got in the shower, the cool water cooling are red bottoms. We rubbed another bottom and admired how red they were. Answer: Not at all. Again, this is consensual. I could tell her I don’t want to do it anymore but I have come to understand and appreciate its value…to me, to her, and to our relationship. There is so much trust and communication that is necessary when doing this kind of thing, that it has actually taken our love, trust, and intimacy to new levels. My wife wrote a great post about the benefits of having a spanking relationship with your husband, that highlights some great points regarding its ability to help eliminate tension between a couple.My parents, to this day, believe that nudity and humiliation were part of breaking my will of disobedience. To ask them, they'd do it all the same again. After years of knowing that she has this need, your wife/girlfriend/lover finally told you she wants to be spanked. I am guessing that at best you were surprised especially if you have been together twenty years or more. You may think it’s a passing whim. You may think it is just a random fantasy that has run through her mind; something best left as a fantasy not something she would like in real life. Plus you love this woman and you have no desire to hurt her. So I am writing a letter to your men if they haven’t gotten it yet. Now I know we don’t live in a one size fits all world but from all I’ve felt and all I’ve read this will ring true for many of us. But as long as you are aware of the risks, and have a consenting partner who also wants to try this with you, there is nothing wrong with wanting what it is you want from sex. One-quarter (22%) said they became subs as a result of life experiences. Half of that group (11%) said they’d been traumatized and sexualized it. “I was sexually abused as a child. It made me submissive.” “Both of my parents spanked me. I and grew up wanting punishment.” The other half, like Anastasia Steele, were introduced to BDSM as adults by lovers, and enjoyed it.