Joined in 2023 
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This will allow you to release whatever it is that is causing the pain that you are experiencing, and learning how to let things go eventually allows for more joy in the future.
It is our responsibility to take care of our needs and wants, and it’s no one else’s job to do it for us. A couple must draw work roasters, clean, cook, fix, chauffeur, throw away, hire, reconcile and budget. If you are in a relationship that seems to not make you happy anymore, then it’s a sign that you two might not be compatible in the long run. Additionally, we tend to ignore minor issues from our partners early on. We forget that something that seems adorably quirky on the first date will become exponentially more annoying after 30 years. But now that you know this, you can account for it. As Benjamin Franklin says, "Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterward." Also, there is the Marriage of Feeling, which is part of the Marriage of Instinct. This one dictates that one shouldn’t think too much about why one is marrying.
10) You’ll learn to be yourself
Perhaps you will learn to recognize the people who are selfish and not ready to give love but also have enough confidence to ask for the love you want and be able to trust them with your life if necessary. If you’re looking for the truth about relationships, then take your time and don’t rush things. Take time to get to know yourself and your needs Marriage doesn’t freeze the moment at all. That moment was dependent on the fact that you had only known each other for a bit, that you weren’t working, that you were staying in a beautiful hotel near the Grand Canal, that you’d had a pleasant afternoon in the Guggenheim museum, that you’d just had a chocolate gelato…
I met my previous partner in the perfect situation and it failed. Then, I met my current partner under the wrong circumstances, but we both had the tools to create a relationship instead of needing someone to fit into our specific "perfect partner" boxes. You can meet someone who’s going to bring you so much joy, but if you don’t have time to enjoy that person, then think about finding someone else who will be a better match for you. Give yourself some time to heal and understand yourself and your own needs before you open up to a new relationship with someone else. Especially for Asians, sex is only available after marriage. It’s a taboo if it’s done outside of marriage. Apparently people will talk bad things about you. Maybe there will be some talks about your parents for not being able to raise you properly. Maybe you will be judged because you are not a religious person and so on. If you find yourself complaining about a lot of things in your relationship, then it’s time to make an effort to find out what it is that makes you happy and why your marriage isn’t working out.
7) You’ll learn how to trust
Let’s be honest here; we’re all entitled to our own happiness, and we should do whatever it takes to make ourselves happy. Now, why will you marry the wrong person? One reason is that we are all flawed. Were we more self-aware, the first question perspectives mates would ask each other is: “And how are you crazy?” We don’t recognize we’re all crazy because we often abandoned relationships before they get complicated or, if we live alone, we assume we’re easy to get along with. And our friends and family hesitate to tell us the truth about ourselves. Everyone is psychologically unhealthy to varying degrees. And typically people don’t spend enough time together before committing to another person to know this.
We believe we seek happiness in love, but it’s not quite as simple. What at times it seems we actually seek is familiarity – which may well complicate any plans we might have for happiness. Kita menikah dengan seseorang karena ingin membekukan momen-momen bahagia. Mungkin ini juga sebabnya, ada beberapa keluhan dari orang yang sudah menikah: pasanganku gak seperti waktu pacaran/bulan madu dulu. Kita berharap ia terus menjadi orang yang baik dan manis, dan romantis setiap harinya. Padahal sama seperti kita, dia juga menjalani hidup; bekerja, berpotensi burnout, bisa merasakan emosi, ada saatnya sedih, banyak pikiran, etc.So there I was, six months into my marriage, dreaming of how I could run away and return to my mom. I was a 24 year-old woman who was scared to death. I hadn’t heard anyone talk about this part of marriage, and I couldn’t decide if the problem was all me, or all Greg. In light of the fact that Greg was the son of world-renowned marriage expert Gary Smalley, I concluded that it must be me. And this led me to find a counselor. We marry the wrong people because the right ones feel wrong – undeserved; because we have no experience of health, because we don’t ultimately associate being loved with feeling satisfied. 4. Being Single is So Awful When first looking out for a partner, the requirements we come up with are coloured by a beautiful non-specific sentimental vagueness: we’ll say we really want to find someone who is ‘kind’ or ‘fun to be with’, ‘attractive’ or ‘up for adventure…’ A really important thing to know about relationships is that if you don’t want to be on your own forever, then you shouldn’t start a relationship hastily. And here comes the plot twist. It’s very possible that we marry the wrong people because the right ones feel wrong — undeserved.
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