Whatever Next! (A Bear Family Book, 2)

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Since I enjoyed Lady in Waiting I was very eager to read Whatever Next? It's a very chatty memoir - I felt the author was sitting across the table from me as we shared a cup of tea. Lady Glenconner expanded on life experiences that were hinted at in the Lady in Waiting. It as a fast read and at times a superficial one - I would of welcomed a more in-depth look at her life and adventures. The book is a fascinating portrayal of a world gone by. Anne wasn't the only one in her family to deal with marital woes; she mentions her beloved sister Carey, who had a husband "who would only talk to her through the dog for years on end." This is very sad, but I'll admit I had to laugh when I read it :) Who can believe the things some people do?! Deeply honest and touching, the author shares engaging bits about her life, including her childhood, her lifelong friendship with Princess Margaret, the complicated relationship with her late husband, her children, the losses she’s endured, and the life she’s built for herself now. A somewhat different book than the first of her autobiography “Lady in Waiting,” this one is told in the same humorous, matter of fact style but with much more openness and honesty about some things which were whitewashed (her marriage) or glossed over (her childhood trauma at the hands of a nasty governess) in the first book. When my friends asked me about Colin’s behaviour, or Princess Margaret and I swapped stories about our difficult husbands, it seemed much healthier to laugh about it all.”

I wasn’t brought up like that. One tried and tried. After he nearly killed me [Tennant violently beat her on Mustique], our marriage did change. We led more separate lives. He spent a lot more time in the West Indies and I was in England with the children. If we’d had to live cheek by jowl, it would have been much harder, as it is for most people. What about Princess Margaret? She’s widely portrayed as having been spoilt and difficult, but you’ve always insisted this is unfair. Anne seemed to have great common sense in dealing with things: "Sometimes I find that talking too much about life's problems can simply make one more agitated and prolong the misery. Friends mean well, but they tend to sympathize and tell you you're right to be so upset and egg you on to feel wronged. That can actually make things worse if you let it." I think this is a great observation! Princess Margaret was also a believer that "one didn't dwell." She also downplays crying. "It's absolutely no use." Generally I agree with this too. No, because I was able to murder her in my novel A Haunting at Holkham[published in 2021]. I got rid of her and there was a wonderful feeling of relief. This is true of a lot of the awful things that have happened to me in my life. Now I’ve written about them, I feel completely different. It’s had a wonderful effect on me. Not really. I just think it was a final cruelty. People do ask if he was gay or bisexual, but I really don’t know. He had a lot of affairs with ladies. He had huge appetites. It was the same with shopping. In India once, he saw these windows on a house. He wanted them, but not a copy. He wanted those very windows. He had a compulsive side.Bracing honesty, rare insight, and more revelations: the New York Times bestselling author of Lady in Waiting shares everything she's learned from her extraordinary and unexpected life.

Rounded up. What I enjoyed: it was refreshing to see Anne Papp roach her marriage and the abuse she suffered with less defense of her husband and for being more honest about how horrible his behavior was. I also loved her optimism about challenges we face in life. It was a much needed reminder for me. When writing about her life, I couldn't help many times but be amazed at what it must be like to have such wealth: "We had an excellent staff, and though I felt terribly busy at the time, I never cleaned a bath or made a bed." This book finds Lady Glenconner more confident; it feels as though she's writing about things that she didn't feel she could write about just a few years ago. She is more open about her marriage and her relationships. I felt bad for Princess Margaret when Anne wrote of how the press had to set up a "bad sister" to play against the Queen as "good sister." It made me dislike the press more than I already do (is that even possible?!). So much of what we hear on the news is set up in templates the media has decided on, which may have little basis in reality.She still lives near Holkham, in Norfolk, where she grew up as the daughter of the Earl of Leicester. She was one of the maids of honour at the Queen’s coronation and soon afterwards married Colin Tennant, Lord Glenconner. He took her to a brothel on their wedding night so she could learn what was required. That was only the first of his outrages – he expected her to carry his luggage through airports – but soon he was swept up in the excitement of creating his own island paradise, Mustique, and she saw less of him. The Queen always understood that the deference paid to her was because of her position and what she represented, not because of who she was as a person. I think one of the reasons she was so loved was because she was not arrogant or haughty.”

We talked about imagination and how we could use different things to pretend - we do a lot of duplo and painting but don't play many imaginative games, so it was very helpful to have this prompt. One day we were making paper books and Miles made one inspired by Whatever Next. He told me story and did the pictures, I just transcribed what he said. Mummy Bear and Baby Bear made quite an impression on him!’ She was the most wonderful friend to me, because she saw all this [the trouble with Colin] going on. She had some of the same problems herself – I saw how Tony [Lord Snowdon] behaved – and it was worse for her, because she was in the public eye. But she saved my life in a way. She was caring, but she was also practical. She didn’t approve of crying or moaning. You had to pull yourself together. From her childhood nanny (one of the good ones; she also had a horrendous one), she often heard, "Let's go and explore." Anne has continued to have a love of travel throughout her life. "The world is full of interesting things to see, but you have to go and look for them."

The book can be a bridge from how things used to be to how much they have changed. Having lived nine decades, the author is a testament to witnessing change. I was intrigued with the bits and pieces she revealed about her mother, especially how she rode her Harley. This one was more a re-hashing of that one. Maybe I was too eager and didn’t give enough time between both books. Whatever Next? covers some of the same ground as Lady in Waiting, but the tone is much darker, especially about her marriage to Colin Tennant. Before, she painted him as a highly-strung eccentric who was liable to throw tantrums, but now she calls him “an incredibly selfish, damaged and occasionally dangerous man” and says that “I lived with domestic violence and abuse for most of my marriage”. Anne brings her stark forthrightness, signature charm and bravery to show the world what her life has taught her, including when she endured the darkest moments of her marriage. Despite what she has endured she remains resilient and has thrived as time moves forward. She became an expert at the fine art of diplomacy, learning when to make peace and when to stand and fight, when to lean on trusted friends and when to take a lover. Alongside all of this, she gained great proficiency at throwing incredible parties, surviving at the centre of the Royal Family, maintaining a resplendent home and - as a lady in waiting - gaining much needed diplomatic skills and the finer points of etiquette. As a parent she endured some of the hardest lessons a parent can, gaining the fortitude and experience to endure even the worse life can offer, as well as how to celebrate the great things life has to offer too their fullest. You feel that your governess, Miss Bonner , who tied you to your bed at night as a child, made you more vulnerable to a man like Colin Tennant . Does she still haunt you?

The writing style is personal and intimate, like you’re sitting with the author and learning these details. In “Whatever Now” Anne’s tone is more serious. She explains why she never divorced her seriously abusive husband and discusses useful coping strategies and resources. She also explains why she had to let go of her anger and forgive her two older sons for life choices which led them to die young: otherwise she felt she could not have moved forward in her own life and helped her third son during the five years it took him to recover from a devastating motorcycle accident. Anne Glenconner's remarkable life hasn't always been as glamorous as one would expect of the daughter of the 5th Earl of Leicester, but it's certainly been an eventful one. From being raised in the beautiful Holkham Hall to living in a tent in the jungles of Mustique, and from exploring the world with Princess Margaret, to keeping pace with her unrestrained and impulsive husband - Lord Glenconner - Anne has lived many extremes. But isn’t stoicism a double-edged sword? As you admit in your book, life might have been better for you and your children if you’d talked more.

Anne Veronica (Coke) Tennant, LVO, Baroness Glenconner is a daughter of Thomas W.E. Coke, MVO, GOC, 5th Earl of Leicester and Elizabeth Mary (Yorke) Tennant, Countess of Leicester. Who knows? I’m 90 and a half and I do sometimes get exhausted. But I’m having such a wonderful time. Life is so exciting. I’m going on The One Show on Monday. Set out a picnic tea on a blanket for your child dressed as Baby Bear on the moon, children canfind a few toys to join in. Make a picture Yes, but thanks to this book, I’ve had the most wonderful conversations with them. We’ve been able to talk about what Colin, their father, did to them in great detail and I’ve been able to say: “Oh, darlings.” Well, I’ve given up supper. I find that eating late gives me indigestion and I wanted to lose weight around my middle. It’s marvellous. I never feel hungry. I have breakfast and a good lunch and that’s it. I lost a stone without trying. I also walk every day and properly. You’ve got to lift your feet up.