In Control: Dangerous Relationships and How They End in Murder

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As mentioned quite a few times in the book, society needs to stop excusing the perpetrators and blaming victims. The eight stage timeline gives clear explanation of the process perpetrators go through an show professionals can try and spot these stages before stage 8.

Step by step, I could see the signs, I knew before, reading this book made me think more and realise more. The euphemism of someone who is always worried about angering potential lunatics is often seen as weak. The premise of the book is to explore the escalation of dangerous relationships and that is achieved. One example was Vincent’s demand that the whole family would watch his favourite soap opera at the same time, every day. It took me a long time to read as some of the material is pretty heavy going and needs some 'away from the book' processing.I read this book because I have been in relationships with sociopaths and I clearly saw that their behaviour is a societal issue.

The problem also goes across races, cultures, socio-economic groups, sexualities and personality types. What you think you would do is go in all guns blazing, get everyone to see sense, remove your daughter from the relationship and then it’s all over. I have recommended that my wife, 2 daughters and son (when older) all read this to both help safeguard themselves and identify any behaviour of their own that could be controlling. I think this book is extremely helpful to all of us so that we are able to be hyper vigilant in our interactions with others, whether we are victims, family of friends of the abused or witnesses so we do not share in the injustice of the victims, through strengthening the perpetrator plight to control.

Moreover, This largely answers my troubles with legal procedures in matters such as sexual harassment crimes. The patterns of behaviour and variety of approaching are just astounding - it is no surprise that the justice system struggles to keep up with this area of the law. It has also challenged me to question my own behaviour and that of others around encouraging friends into relationships. To calculate the overall star rating and percentage breakdown by star, we don’t use a simple average. One of the most important books I've ever read and a fascinating insight to the violence against women and girls conversation.

In control: Dangerous relationships and how they end in murder by Jane Monckton-Smith © Bloomsbury Publishing Plc. Hard to read at times and deals with some shocking statistics, descriptions of abuse, murder etc but NECESSARY. Chapter one describes the first stage, which is having a history of controlling behaviour or stalking. obviously, this book deals with some heavy subject matter and because Monckton-Smith uses real life examples this book definitely comes with some trigger warnings, including domestic violence, rape, murder, forced pregnancy, child abuse, emotional blackmail and manipulation, gaslighting and stalking. Several people I know had previously read the book and all spoke about it being a powerful experience.I am always trying to make myself a person without weaknesses, but I know that the marginal improvement of individuals in the face of the structure is often not as good as a little luck. Jane Monkton-Smith takes us through the eight stages that an abuser will follow should the worst happen, but of course there are many more who make journeys along, or around, the earlier stages. It’s a really harrowing experience to see the sheer number of examples for all types of scenarios in all types of relationships that she is able to procure.

e. all of us) is becoming more aware that domestic violence is a bigger, and more complex, issue than previously perceived and I would like this book to be required reading for a far wider group of people - it is only going to be through understanding that the outcomes for more victims can be changed. Early on, he blamed past relationship failures on his ex-girlfriend, without acknowledging his own role. I try not to generalise and I was uncomfortable initially with the author's use of statements such as "women are", "men do this", etc. honestly, this might be one of the only non-fiction books I would reread over and over again and it’s already one of my favourite books of the year. Monckton-Smith rebuts the long assumed "crime of passion" myth that underpins the loss of control doctrine (a partial defence to murder in the UK and some other common law jurisdictions) with a well-argued thesis that murder arises through a series of stages in a "dangerous relationship" that ends in murder.Photograph: Gareth Iwan Jones Photographer/Gareth Iwan Jones for The Observer View image in fullscreen Jane Monckton Smith: ‘The clues are very often in what the person says about themselves. because controlling people, in the main, will want a rapid commitment, they may target people who they feel might give that. The best way to describe this book is that if domestic abuse and coercive control had never touched my life, this book would be able to educate me about these patterns.